You do not become a mentor because you think you have the age and the experience. It is about letting, not dictating. It is about sharing, not preaching. It is about mutual learning and growth.

A senior leader told me he was planning to take up a job as a mentor after retirement. I have been called a mentor for many years, but I have never thought of it as a job in the conventional sense.

When you can, you do. When you no longer can, you mentor. Is that the way it is supposed to be? In other words, is a mentor some sort of a subject matter expert on account of age and experience?

As I see it, you develop as a mentor over time. It requires plenty of empathy, which you do not acquire simply because you have turned grey. There is no rigid job profile. Your role evolves over a period that cannot be set in advance. Think marriage.

Some say a mentor is a teacher and the mentee is a student. That suggests a passing down of knowledge. I believe that a true mentor-mentee relationship is between equals. Learning ought to happen at both ends.

“This is the way to do it,” is something I have learnt never to say as a mentor. In fact, it is more about asking the right questions than handing out answers. It is about walking side by side rather than steering the way.

Over time, you develop common values, but not necessarily common thinking.

— From the MENTOR’S MUSINGS series by Mohan G. Joshi —